Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Truth

The truth is, I worry. I stress out and fret over little and big things. It is part of my personality, but it is the weekness of my personality. It is something that I have been trying to work on for awhile. I feel like I improve and am giving things over to the Lord, and then I will slack and start to try to control things on my own, and the worrying begins again.

This time of year is always stressful because I am triying to figure out my piano schedule. This year has been especially stressful because I have changed some things and I have the lowest amount of students I have had in a long time. I know I am not the only teacher experiencing this, but that hasn't made it any less stressful. I had a melt down yesterday and was all worked up that we wouldn't be able to pull in enough this fall to help supplement. Joel kept telling me that the Lord would provide and I knew that, but I wasn't feeling his provision.

Tuesday night I went running and was listening to Hillsong and the song Mighty to Save. The lyrics "My Savior, He can move the mountain, my God is mighty to save, He is mightly to save. Forevery author of Salvation, He rose and coquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave." I was so convicted when I heard those words and know that If I believed that my God could move a mountain, and that he had risen from the dead and had conquered the grave...which I do believe all of that with my whole heart...then why wasn't I believing that He could provide for me? I had the mindset that if God was providing for me, then life would be easy. I wouldn't have to work so hard. But that is not true. He promises to provide, but He doesn't say that was he provides will be easy. Life my be hard, finances might be tight, but He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. He will always provide. I have to remind myself that He is good...ALL the time, and that everything He does is good. Journey with me as I pray and lay everything at the feet of my Lord who IS mighty to save and who loves me and my family even more than I can imagine.

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