As I laid my 14th month old down for a 30 min morning snooze I was faced with two choices: 1. Make my bed and 2. Blog. As you can see I chose to blog. I have to sneak time to do this and I figured that I could make my bed when he was up and then I could see him flop down on the pillows ans squeal with delight.

Anyway...Life has thrown some curve balls our way lately and I for one and a little tired. For some reason the Lord has seen fit to take away some of my piano students...most of them...instead of answering our prayer for more. I got mad. I hate to admit it, but I did. I got mad and couldn't understand why, when we weren't asking for something bad, did He choose to do something completely opposite of what we asked. Then He surprised us by allowing Joel to recieve a big bonus!!! We were thrilled, thanked Him for His provision, and then our car broke down and the cost to fix it was 3.00 more than the bonus. Obviously the Lord has provided the money for the car, for which we were thankful, but a little bummed at the same time. We just can't seem to get ahead. There have been other puzzleing things the last few months, of which I am not free to share at this moment, but as I look back over this month and see that we have not only survived but have been able to splurge on other people, I see God's faithfullness and His provision. It wasn't easy, and Joel had to do some extra work outside of his regular job, but God doesn't promise that it will be easy. He just promises that He will provide. And He did. When I start to worry about next month, I remember this past one, and am calmed by the peace that He gives that He indeed loves me and everything He does is good. If He witholds something from me He has something even better waiting for me, even if that something better is not of this earth, but a closer relationship with Him.

This has nothing to do with what I wrote above, but it made me smile and I hope it will make you smile too. Israel is saying so many things and we are having so much fun watching and listening to him. One thing that he does that makes up beam is pray. He will bow his head, mumble some Izzy words, and then lift his head and say "Amen" then he laughs or clasps for himself. One of his new words is "Bible". So today he saw Joel's Bible on the table. I wasn't watching at this point and I heard him say "Bible". I didn't know that this is what he was saying because it sounds a lot like his other new word..."Bubble". But when I turned around and saw what he was playing with I new immidately what he had said. I walked over to him and watched him as he opened it, bowed his head, mumbled some words, and then said "Amen!" It was soooooo cute!!!! It made me so happy that he has picked this up. Yes we pray a lot because we need God's grace and guidance everyday, but to see that he had noticed this just warms my heart.

A Scare

Sunday afternoon naps are a must in our household. We had just gotten up from our naps today and Izzy was playing on our bed just has he always does. he was near the edge because there was something on the floor that had his attention. He was bouncing and we were telling "Be careful" But before we knew it he took a dive off the bed and landed on his head. I immediately picked him up and he was screaming at this point. You know how babies or kids will cry so hard they look like they are not going to take a breathe? Well that is what he was doing. He has done this before and we have just blown in his face and he takes a breath. We did that this time, but he wouldn't take a breath. He started turning really pale and passed out on us. We didn't know that is what happened. All I knew was that my baby had gone limp in my arms, and rigid at the same time. His eyes rolled back into his head and we both freaked out! I started blowing and pumping his chest. I also was softly slapping his cheeks trying to wake him up. He would open his eyes a little bit, but then close them again. Joel was on the phone with 911 immediately and the ambulance was on their way. Izzy came too, but was still lathargic when the fire truck arrived. By the time the ambulance got there and we had been put inside, they checked all his vitals and said that they thought everything was fine. They still took us to the hospital just to make sure, and we were told that everything was fine. We left very releaved and thankful for another day with our little boy.

Those few minutes were the worst few minutes of my life. To hold your darling baby and see them loose consciousness is one of the worst feelings in the world. We were terrified. Thankfully it is over, and he is sleeping soundly. Thank you Lord!!!

The Truth

The truth is, I worry. I stress out and fret over little and big things. It is part of my personality, but it is the weekness of my personality. It is something that I have been trying to work on for awhile. I feel like I improve and am giving things over to the Lord, and then I will slack and start to try to control things on my own, and the worrying begins again.

This time of year is always stressful because I am triying to figure out my piano schedule. This year has been especially stressful because I have changed some things and I have the lowest amount of students I have had in a long time. I know I am not the only teacher experiencing this, but that hasn't made it any less stressful. I had a melt down yesterday and was all worked up that we wouldn't be able to pull in enough this fall to help supplement. Joel kept telling me that the Lord would provide and I knew that, but I wasn't feeling his provision.

Tuesday night I went running and was listening to Hillsong and the song Mighty to Save. The lyrics "My Savior, He can move the mountain, my God is mighty to save, He is mightly to save. Forevery author of Salvation, He rose and coquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave." I was so convicted when I heard those words and know that If I believed that my God could move a mountain, and that he had risen from the dead and had conquered the grave...which I do believe all of that with my whole heart...then why wasn't I believing that He could provide for me? I had the mindset that if God was providing for me, then life would be easy. I wouldn't have to work so hard. But that is not true. He promises to provide, but He doesn't say that was he provides will be easy. Life my be hard, finances might be tight, but He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. He will always provide. I have to remind myself that He is good...ALL the time, and that everything He does is good. Journey with me as I pray and lay everything at the feet of my Lord who IS mighty to save and who loves me and my family even more than I can imagine.

My Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very bad day

Yesterday I woke up and it all started. Actually it started the night before when I found out that my meeting over lunch actually started an hour earlier than I had told my mom, who had agreed to watch Israel. It was already complicated: I was supposed to bring Izzy to the church and leave him in the nursery for mom to pick up, she would take him to Megan's and then after I was finished meet me at this school where she was headed to watch a play! Whew! But then, when I found out that my meeting was a whole hour earlier, I tried calling her only to have the phone ring continually and no one answer. So I left that problem to deal with in the morning. Well, moring came and the problem just didn't work out like I had hoped. I still couldn't get a hold of mom, and this time it was for a different reason. Israel had a runny nose and I couldn't put him in the nursery (turns out I could have afterall). So I started to get frustrated. Joel wanted to call his mom, but his mom had babysat the day before and I felt bad having the only times we called them be for a favor so I wouldn't let him. After trying to make it work, I finally realized that it wasn't a big enough deal to go to a whole bunch of trouble and running around. Then I started snowballing and getting overwhelmed by all the responsibilities in my life and feeling like I can never get anything done around the house, or errands run, or even my hair cut, and still have Izzy home to take his naps. It just doesn't work! This morning, I decided to forgo his morning nap and take Joel to work and run to the fabric store so I could try to make his curtains. This is where the next disaster comes in. While at Walmart I saw the blinds that I wanted for his room. Well, my stupid overloaded mind didn't connect two and two and inform me that I only needed blinds OR curtains. No, it just let me look at those blinds, and say to myself "Oh good, those are cheaper here than at the other store." Then it let me continue onto the fabric store spend 15.00 only to get home and destore the curtains! Okay, maybe not destroy, but at the moment they were unsalvageable. But before that I went ahead and went to the lunch part of my meeting WITH Israel. He did great, but I guess I had talked myself into thinking I was important enough to have to be there when really I wasn't and so spending the 7.50 on chicken fingers just made me mad.  Back home, and an hour later I was on the phone with Joel, telling him about the curtains and my mixed up mind, and the needless spending of 15.00. Of course he was gracious...about that. But then he dropped the next bomb. Throughout the events of this day, I was so looking forward to going over to my mother-in-law's for dinner because I had no desire to cook. But Joel told me that they actually had something going on, and so Julianne (Joel's sister) was coming over to our house! Oh boy, that started the tears flowing. I got off the phone with him, crawled into my bed and cried. Then my mom called, came over and gave words of encouragement. I got to spend some time with my family, Izzy woke up, we took a walk (which was super hard with the strong winds) and on the way back my brother-in-law pulled up with a vase of flowers..."to make my day better" he said! So little by little I picked myself up, straightened up my house, and was ready to sit down with a glass of wine with my hubby when he got home.

So even thought the day started and went not the way I wanted it to, God was still faithful and gave me little things to smile about.

A week to remember

A week ago today I headed out with my Izzy to brave highway 75 all the way to Texas! All. By. Myself. I took along with me my trusty helpers, the Hide 'm' In Your Heart Steve Green DVDs that Captures Israel's attention for the full 30 min. They were a life saver! He did a wonderful job, even though he didn't sleep as long as I would have liked at first. But it all turned out well, and we made good time.

I was going to see my friend who has a daugter 6 weeks older than Izzy. They spent Thursday afternoon getting to know each other and trying to figure out how to share their toys. We had a great time together, and even managed to get away for the evening by ourselves because Hannah's husband (yes we have the same name) offered to stay home and watch the sleeping babies. But our good times were quickly over when I woke up Saturday morning throwing up. This was not good since this was the day that I was supposed to make the treck home. Hannah and her husband were wonderful and took care of me and Israel until I could somewhat function again. Hannah's family lives in Texas too, so she took the kids over there to play for the afternoon while I rested. So instead of coming home Saturday, we left Sunday morning and made it home just in time for me to collapse in bed for a long afternoon nap. While I was gone though, Joel and his dad were hard at work here putting in new windows!

The day after we got back: Monday, and Tuesday and Wednesday...Israel has been whinny and cranky and not much of an eater. I think he is teething again, but haven't seen anything yet. I am hopeful for today, even though he went to bed at 9 last night and woke up at 6:30 this morning. We will see where that leads us.  But thankfully he is a strong growing boy (59th percentile in height and weight, 10th percentile in head) And we are loving him.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed

Does anyone know where that phrase came from? I don't, but I have heard it my whole life especially when I woke up cranky. Well today was one of those days...not that I was cranky, well, to start with at least, but because everything seemed go wrong. Yesterday I ventured out and tried to make my own Moby wrap. It didn't turn out like I had expected and so this morning I was trying it again, knowing that I would have to carry Izzy around church since he had ANOTHER cold! But Izzy was cranky so he was all squirmy and did not want to be wrapped up. Then everything that I put on seemed to be too big, and time was running out! Joel had to be at church at a certain time, and I wasn't ready, Izzy was still in his pajamas, and the diaper bag wasn't ready. So in tears I told Joel that he better just go and I would stay home with Izzy. So he left and I put Izzy down for a nap and we both cried ourselves to sleep.

I will not bore you with the rest of our day, but I will say that it is 8:00 pm Israel is STILL crying after being put to bed, and although I love my family and spending time with them and taking care of them...I am ready for this day to be over. Please tell me I am not the only one that has days like this.

One funny thing that did happen was that Joel  wanted some tomato soup for super. So we ran to the store, I got a phone call and so he went into the store to get the soup. He came out and told me how many he got, but he kept calling it "sauce". I thought he had just gotten mixed up, but when I got home, I pulled out the bag two cans of tomato sauce...not soup! That didn't matter to him, he just added water and seasoned it like we do the soup, and he ate it anyway!!! We got a good laugh.

So if you had a day today that you are ready to be done with...find something to laugh about.